Open space

Moved

2006-06-03T18:20:00.000-04:00

Hi!
I've moved to live journal... http://oldpondfrog.livejournal.com
-G

Let's ask the man cub

2005-05-22T13:39:00.000-04:00

You are just a man,
Homosapien,
With an attention span
Of 45 minutes.

You are the only naturalist,
to discover,
some species are monogamists,
others prefer,
the sexiest partner at hand!

The classic questions are closer
to home
including those improper
deviant folks

Will Maugli choose Brad Pitt
Or rather any woman in sight?
Will he barter for it?
And interestingly wait for night?

Misogyny, polygamy, prostitution.
Incest, pedophilia, Freud.
Its an astounding questionnaire man cub..
You think we have a one size fits all?

For each choose strongly agree to strongly disagree
on a scale of 1 to 5.
And hurry up we don't have all day
what you are you? decide!

Besides...and i mean to be helpful here..
IF you can't fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
Then who will call you a "man" my son?

Around the corner

2005-05-22T01:31:00.000-04:00

So you are completely convinced that this one event will be just great. But there is a catch....it will be revealed to you indefinitely. Anytime, anyday, any month or maybe not at all.

So you wait..put your life on hold and wait. With irrational desperation and uncalm.
But you can't be seen that way so you look relaxed and act indifferent.

It strikes you in snatches that hey this is not such a good idea. But the ball is rolling and going fast...downhill!! It perhaps works out. It perhaps breaks.

This may seem like an inevitable rollercoaster ride . But surely a part of you is convinced thats it worth the g forces.

Memories from a trip to Waynad.

2005-05-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

The long journey through coffee
plantations with driving directions
in native accents. Also two
flat tires n some paranoia.

The farm lands leading to
the forest and finally rolling hills,
Mango vendors, forest temples
wayside shops serving robusta coffee.

Oh and thoses butterflies
blanketed streches of road and
flapped away as I drove
except darting, courting couples

A waterfall desolate,
at the trip's end gurgles and soaks me
weary inch by weary inch.
I am alone yet feel embraced!

-------------------------------
And btw if you have never bathed alone at a waterfall or been to Waynad....both are highly reccomended :D

have a look

2005-05-13T19:20:00.000-04:00

http://www.uusociety.org/sermons/sermons.html

...

2005-04-23T23:15:00.000-04:00

Today a sudden recollection came. Sometime last year a Turkish lute player was performing here. It was magical music composed by the mystics of Turkey.

The artist asked us to refrain from clapping and appreciate the music in our hearts. Piece after piece the magic flowed and in each gap there was only a mesmerized silence. It added something extraordinary to the evening.

Many heart-felt things are like that..when you express them...they somehow change, somehow diminish!

A day...away

2005-04-16T05:55:00.000-04:00

It's close to 6am and I am excited about a trip I am making to NYC today. Quite juvenile eh but remember I haven't seen the outside world in months!!

Work is hectic as ever now but I start feeling distracted when the load becomes too much and that slows me down even further...bad cycle! but not the worst :D!

Sometimes when everything is crowding in. I want to bike to Kerela. Maybe I'll just walk to Central Park today ;-)!!

Talking about silence

2005-03-30T18:27:00.000-05:00

Thinking about rather than doing.
Talking about silence.
Analyzing music.
Loving love.

Lost in indirections, in thoughts.
More thought than what helps,
Than one can help.
More is less.

Par yeh dil maange more :-(

In the mean while...

2005-03-17T18:14:00.000-05:00

Hey haven't blogged for about a 100 days now! And lots has happened. The most exciting of which I am not telling ;-)

I picked up 3 courses this sem and for those of you who can decipher any of this they are compilers, databases and security policies. Anyway everybody i can think of who will read this would probably taken a class in one of these sometime! Sigh..so much for diversity!

Anyway so I've been kept busy with this and my lab work which comes with it's unique pressures! However being employed now is a lot less stressful than back in the industry..can't explain that!

On a related note I got myself an internship in the info security division of a financial called Lehman brothers which a good friend of mine keeps calling (unintentionally) Layman Brothers! It's good money :) and hopefully good work!

A great friend from the college gang, Mekin, is getting married!! So that is the first in the group to take the plunge!! Seems really extraordinary to think about it. But hey Mekin was always more responsible than the rest put together :)

The big debate I was having recently about PhD versus materialism has kind of fizzled out for the time being! Looks like I'll have to make a decision sooner than later. Hey lemme know if anybody has any opinions on this.

I also found a new interest in hindustani classical sometime back. Roots eh?! Oh yeah and the other intersting thing is that FINALLY New York seems to have above zero temperatures! Not that I hated it but hey sunshine is always welcome!

Oh yes and the book for this quarter is "Swami and Friends". Simply delightful!

End of update. Over and out!

News in the New Year

2005-01-01T21:07:00.000-05:00

There is some good news! I was offered a Research Assistantship last week which means my debts don't get any worse for a few months atleast. So things are working out on that front. I will be working in a lab for Computer Security...not an area I had anticipated six months back. The intuition behind coming here was to move on to new things and this is a start.

Was with friends in Baltimore for the New year. I can never get all excited over New Year parties but the fireworks were great and got to meet some vintage friends!

Another year! Interestingly looking back on the last year it feels as good or bad as today is. Anyway have a nice one!

Last and least

2004-12-30T01:17:00.000-05:00

The news of tens of thousands of deaths talks to the mind before (if at all) it reaches the heart.

Sentiments emerging from the membership of a family, a community even a country are a comfort zone. Membership of the human race on the other hand is much too basic. Staring at that fact.

de-Code

2004-12-14T14:26:00.000-05:00

Courtesy Wanda the fish:

"Well," said Programmer, "the customary procedure in such cases is
as follows."

"What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?" said End-user. "For I am
an End-user of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

"It means the Thing to Do."

"As long as it means that, I don't mind," said End-user humbly.

No jazz

2004-12-11T17:59:00.000-05:00

Music for the most part is a seductress.

When no thought enters the head..no rebellion, no romance, no agitation, nothing .......then in that rare moment she becomes divine.

Money

2004-12-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

Can you have little money or even debt and still be happy?
Whether that is true for you has important implications.

I see this situation effecting people in two ways here (and there are many case studies I have access to including my own): Either they become terribly insecure which means that they will fend off this feeling aggressively in the future or those who can simply let it be, not make it into a "problem". Alot of in-betweens as well.

Have had the oppurtunity of seeing the opposite too...that is reactions to having excessive money. It seems fairly obvious that your attitude to money is something really worth reflecting on.

In fact many times thinking doesn't do the trick then you can even try a few bold experiments!
For instance I have always had a little fantasy of living off manual labour and hourly wages. It has some link to self confidence that I can't put my finger on but have a suspision exists.

Brr!

2004-12-10T01:02:00.000-05:00

I definitely prefer extreme cold weather to extreme hot. It helps you stay alert.
Besides you get to wrap your arms around yourself, the closest thing to hugging yourself!

Weatherman

2004-12-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

The weatherman has to live in the future. But let him do so ocassionally, for reasons of necessity, not as a compulsion.

Reminds one of Winnie the Pooh :
What day is it?' 'It's today' - squeaked Piglet.
'My favourite day' - said Pooh."

Calm down monkey!

2004-11-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

Love your lovers who you have put behind you
Then other's who shared your inner life.
Do the same to your enemies, they also lived close to your heart.
Lastly your self images.

Then step into the present and repeat :lovers, friends, foes and me.

Of course you are not perfect.
Prejudices come back.
When you awaken.. heal again!

Hi! You are fine. How am I?

2004-11-26T02:34:00.000-05:00

Have been watching (yet another) relationship movie. Only this one was saccharine sweet about Hugh Grant's charming character finally finding "true love". A touching story about finding the one meant for you, against all odds (including her current marriage)!

But now it makes me wonder how the director of that movie could so elegantly tug at the heart strings of his audience which is probably neatly split into 2 halves: The hopefuls and the distressed depending on whether they themselves are commited or not (There is a third category but they are best left alone to their sanity).

If crafting fantastic illusions is a job so well done by one man then he is like a psychic right? He knows what to do to make someone feel elated or sad(remember there was a funeral too). Such a man will probably be a very successful womaniser...he has great insight into which buttons to push. In fact all of us do, but only about our intimate ones.

Either that or he is a very inspired artist. Which is likely not the case. It always struck me why it was all hunky dory in a movie climax if the lead chracters had salvaged their love or pride or whatever. What about the other minor chracters with no grandeur in their lives. A sensitive artist will surely not ignore that.

So then our director/script writer is just a "dream merchant" and what does that make me?

Oh yeah besides the dreary questions what I gained was a listen to "Love is all around" which is part of the OST. Figured the guitar tabs...it sounds ridiculously good :-)

To the zoo!

2004-11-23T11:21:00.000-05:00

Well Thanksgiving weekend is almost here and coincidentially my "holiday mood" song is already playing in the head.

So here is to bring a smile,
to those who have heard it too!
What a gas! You gotta listen....to the zoo!

To The Zoo:
------------
Someone told me
It's all happening at the zoo.

I do believe it,
I do believe it's true.

It's a light and tumble journey
From the East Side to the park;
Just a fine and fancy ramble
To the zoo.

But you can take the crosstown bus
If it's raining or it's cold,
And the animals will love it
If you do.

Somethin' tells me
It's all happening at the zoo.

The monkeys stand for honesty,
Giraffes are insincere,
And the elephants are kindly but
They're dumb.
Orangutans are skeptical
Of changes in their cages,
And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,
Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.
What a gas! You gotta come and see
At the zoo.

-Simon and Garfunkel

Aaah!

2004-11-23T01:40:00.000-05:00

It is so difficult to describe the beauty of simplicity and warmth of compassion but it is equally easy to recognize :)
Few men in popular culture embody these like the Dalai Lama.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thank you for coming. But of course, you know I have nothing to offer you, only empty words"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"One Tibetan monk who is now close with me came [to Dharamsala] in the early '80s [and] joined with me. He [had] spent more than 18 years in a Chinese prison labor camp. So we used to talk and he told on a few occasons he really faced some danger. So I asked him, 'What danger? What kind of danger?' -- thinking he would tell me of Chinese torture and prison.

"He replied, 'Many times I was in danger of losing compasson for the Chinese.'"

"That's marvelous, isn't it?"

Unreasonable!

2004-11-22T01:09:00.000-05:00

It's just been a great day
Woke up near noon with a phone from a long lost friend from Baltimore. Caught up on old times in office and how she found her "soul mate" in the same place I sold my soul!

Also..
Have been working on my "Algorithms" course today because I have an exam tommorow. It's just so awesome the kind of stuff that has been discovered in Graph Theory. Absolute truths: some so elegantly substantiated and some which will have this convoluted proof for a very intuitive result. Interestingly very complex theorems don't seem to exist (atleast not in my text)

That is what my Prof keeps highlighting. Some things are so "obvious" but not straighforward to prove. Maybe then the constructs we use to prove are not as good as our intuitive intelligence. Maybe it's just that math constructs are like an extension of our language and indicate a restriction on what we CAN understand analytically!

How many times have you heard "I just can't get the right words?" ..in a romantic situation for instance.Well if you don't have the right words you are conventionally speaking "confused" my friend! I am sure cognitive experts have researched this stuff but they are stuck with similar constructs right? Who knows or for that matter will ever know ;-) !

Footnote:
Similarly perhaps there exists intuitive intelligence we just don't have access to ,like a dino trying to figure out Graph Theory!

Can you hear me at the back?

2004-11-19T23:03:00.000-05:00

That is a question which people often ask in a large group right?
Long long ago I met somebody who actually asked:
"Those who can hear me please raise your hands".
Think about it...it's a much more sensible question to ask!

Okay now I am wondering who is hearing me on this blog. That way I know if I am reaching the people I wanted to. So if you are reading this (even ages after I posted it) PLEASE leave a (however brief) comment just to let me know.

Footnote:
I have put in some effort experimenting with comments by non members and I think it works. If you have trouble please lemme know out of band. Oh yes you might have trouble if you are using Firefox.

Silence

2004-11-18T20:14:00.000-05:00

Had gone to a Buddhist student club meeting today. As it turned out there was only one other person who happened to be attending. We sat in silence and meditated for an hour or so. He taught me how to do "walking meditation" in a few scentences, which turned out to be a very useful technique .

Two strangers together for an hour, we somehow shared by exchanging only a few words, thanked the other and went our ways!

"My Sex Life.....or how I got into an argument" : A Movie

2004-11-18T04:46:00.000-05:00

That is the name of this French movie I picked up and decided to watch tonight! It's 4am and I just finished with it. It zapped me completely. Here is the jist (from the cover):

Paul, a 29 year old asst prof is finding it difficult to begin "his life as a man" - he cannot complete his dissertation, calls it quits with his girlfriend of ten years and his arch rival has just been promoted over him. To complicate matters even more, he finds himself involved in severa simulataneous relationships, one involving his best friend's girlfriend. These romantic entanglements help Paul finally come to terms with life.

It's incredible the amount of choice the characters had in their life and what a mess they made of it. Have been thinking along the same lines myself about how we have the sails up but decide to throw our hands up in the air from joy or exasperation, when it "should" be on a rudder! But how we can find an internal compass seems like a paradox. Like Paul we can simply stumble upon it but just can't think it out. Sounds like a plan :-)!

Btw there is something else interesting I noticed: Watching a movie with somebody else seems to color the experience. It's only in the US that I have been "forced" to watch movies by myself and the artistic value seems to come through stronger than the entertainment value. There seems to be a subtle difference between the two.( For instance entertainment value gets better if two people agree whole heartedly that it was great but the artistic value percieved by a person seems intrinsic to him). Or maybe it's just my imagination ! Yawn!

Why blog?

2004-11-15T17:03:00.000-05:00

"Whatsup?" is a question I have come to dread of late.
Since time is scarce I have often been guilty of summary replies like "Busy as usual" or "Doing good/bad(sic)". Communicating mundane details have become a nuisance for me, having philospophical discussions a luxury and simply chatting an impossibility!

Vinod, my brother in arms, summed up the situation aptly by noting the resemblance between my email and a telegraph message :-) (full circle ?! anyway I imagine the brevity of telegraph would have acted as a great stimulant for wit)

Just recently my old buddy Mekin suggested I blog.
Sounds like an effective and fun solution! Let's hope it works and more...